My bullet journal isn't a mental health cure. But...

This year, I decided it would be a good chance to try and pick up bullet journalling again. I've tried this before so it would be my second attempt. Way back in, uh, let me see...

In 2018. Yeesh.

Seven years on, and I'd thought I'd try it again. However, I had a quick look back to see if there was anything I did wrong and if I could fix it in this year. I noticed a lot of blank gaps between dates where I seemed to forget that my journal actually existed. I remember it feeling like a chore at times, where I forced myself to write in it at the start and end of the day, so that no task was missed.

And it was indeed a completely task-focused, productivity, life hacking piece of work. It seemed to be devoid of any creativity or fun. The only times that I strayed from this was to do some system diagrams for my work. This removed any kind of fun or personality from the journal. Any time I was using it, it felt like I had to think purely about getting things done and admonishing myself for not completing my tasks or migrating bullets from one day to another.

Turns out when you have a mental health condition, punishing yourself for not being at capacity every day is not very helpful for your recovery! What has helped build journalling into my everyday habits, then?

I lack object permanence, just like a dog

It seems like if an item isn't in my direct line of sight, it doesn't really exist. This could not be more true for my bullet journal. If it's in my bag, or in a cabinet or shelf, I just forget to write entries for days or weeks! The trick I've found is to build the habit of having it open on my desk whenever I'm there. Whenever I go to take a sip of water or check my phone, my open journal and pen are sitting there. It invites me to write. As I build the habit of just having the journal ready, the habit of writing inside it is automatic since it's something I want to do anyway. I just normally forget!

Especially when you're neurodivergent, it's really important to try and bring down the friction of building a habit as much as you can. We often have so many things on our plates at once and so many thoughts whizzing around, it's all too easy to just forget stuff or not do little habits. Reducing the friction means that you don't really need to remember so much, you can just do it.

It's not just about tasks

My bullet journal isn't just limited to the things I need to do at a daily, monthly or yearly level. I've started including modules (sections in the journal) dedicated for specific projects or events. I have a double page spread for my Facial Feminisation Surgery back in February this year, for example. And I keep a module for taking notes on a book I'm reading and find really interesting.

Sometimes I'll detour and end up writing a couple of pages about my feelings on social media, or dealing with current events. These can be really interesting to read back on. These will look like a bit more of a classic diary. Putting pen to paper I think really helps me get complex or difficult feelings off my chest, without doing what I normally did (vent on Bluesky or other social media). It can be kinda self soothing and self validating, to reassure yourself and to listen to yourself. At least sometimes.

Throughout the day I'll also use dashed bullets (-) to record brief thoughts or feelings to get an idea of my brain state on that given day. If I notice something a bit off on my mood tracker (I use the How We Feel app) or energy tracker (Visible), I can simply go back to that day in my journal and see what was happening. I also use various dashes for music, artists, albums that really spoke to me, or even if I drank a coffee that I thought was really interesting.

Make it fun, make it colourful

Your bullet journal will be a lot more enjoyable to use if you make it fun and liven it up a bit. I stick pretty close to the original format Ryder Carroll shared in a blog post (now paywalled). So I don't tend to go for big borders and drawings and shaded in diagrams. But browsing /r/bulletjournal and r/basicbulletjournals you find that there's so much variety and a huge gamut of creativity! You can be really simple or you can painstakingly design pretty cover pages for each month of the year. Really up to you, as long as it engages you and becomes a reflection of your personality and encourages you to add to it.

A few things that work for me:

• Stickers: I got some cute stickers from a stationary shop with lil puppies and coffee stuff and just drop them on the cover and on random pages when there's a bit of space.
• Washi tape: can be nice to border or divide sections and comes in a cute range of styles. * Drawings and doodles: You can add little sketches when the idea takes your mind, maybe adding a pop of colour with a different pen.
• A nice quality journal: I use a Leuchtturm1917 which feels sturdy, the layout is nice and I like the dotted pages. The paper could be a bit thicker to be honest but it's fine enough for what I want.
• A pen that feels as fancy as you: I caved in and bought a fountain pen earlier this year. I stayed away as long as I could because the way I hold pens is frankly diabolical and I'd have to fix it. But my gosh they come in so many cool colours and shapes, you can get all sorts of interesting ink. And it just glides across the paper. It's honestly next-level.

Impact on my mental health

It's not a fix for my mental health. But bullet journalling has definitely improved it in some ways.

I struggle a lot with various types of depersonalisation. This often comes with amnesia, gaps in my memory. Having the muscle memory of always writing down my day means that I can always read back through to see what my conscious brain missed. My therapist will literally ask me how my weekend was and I'd say "uhhhh..." while rifling through my bag for my journal. It's such a life saver. I would say it has helped reduce depersonalisation and identity dissociation at times too, by helping to keep me feeling like myself, in my body.

There's been other benefits too. Having to think and write down my thoughts and feelings each day, even if just one bullet point, means that I'm a lot more in tune with my emotions. I can pinpoint where I'm feeling a lot more accurately. I can consider that I often have multiple emotions, that might seem like they conflict, but come from me trying to understand difficult situations. It's something that's really stabilising.

Further to that, it means I'm taking a bit longer to think through problems. If a friend doesn't text me back? Instead of jumping to the worst case that they secretly hate me, my brain is slowing down and realising all the more likely possibilities. I'm feeling more balanced, like I can take a step back and observe my life by reading the pages, and proceed mindfully. (DBT nerd alert!!) Oh, and venting into a journal means I'm no longer venting into the void, on Twitter, Discord, whatever.

That's got to be good right...?