We Don’t Do Valentine’s

My relationship with my partner, Izzy, is not the most orthodox. We first met on Twitter about eleven(?) years ago, through a shared interest in the video game, Portal. We spent the next six or so years becoming really close internet friends, helping each other through difficult times and hanging out and playing video games together online.

Eventually, in 2018, she came to visit me in London and we went to a folk concert together. We rapidly realised we both had feelings beyond just good friendship for each other and fell madly in love. Six months later, we’d moved in together; and three years after that, I came out as trans and that only served to make our relationship stronger.

Our story has always been far from any regular relationship, and I love how wonderful and unique it has been. And one rule we’ve always had is that we don’t do Valentine’s.

Our relationship is ours, we share and show our love for each other in our own ways. Why should we limit that to the one day that the card companies tell us to? We put a lot more emphasis on our anniversary as that’s a much more special day and personal to us. Last year, I recreated the meal we had on our first date (Phở), while Izzy made some fancy cocktails.

And throughout the year, we constantly reaffirm our love for each other, whether that be by saying it, caring for each other, or even buying little gifts or showing that we’re thinking of each other. I think what we have is really special and I love not being bound to an arbitrary day.

This isn’t to discredit anyone else from celebrating Valentine’s Day at all, but it might help explain why it isn’t for us, and why we tend to be pretty quiet on this day. 💖